Few more weeks to go, and I’ll be seeing one of the best gifts I’ve ever received. I remember when I was impatiently waiting for this, asking God and praying hard for Him to answer my questions. I was so eager and had to follow a “What to Expect BEFORE Expecting” book’s instructions, which says that the first thing that should be done is to visit an OB-GYN. The doctor “confidently” told me that there’s fertility problem with me and Neo for sure trying for more than a year having a baby. He suggested that Neo should check first if he has problems and that’s the end of the story. Surprisingly, my husband was open to it, and I was the one who was scared to know if we would have the chance to have a baby or not.
I delayed our check-up schedule, dealing with the Lord first, asking Him if this is His will for us. There were times when I cried out loud asking Him why He can’t give it to me while He can give it to the rest? Why my friends have kids, and me, who’s been faithful and patient in waiting can’t have one? It was a wake-up call, when our dear friend Greg asked me this question during a bible study: “What if it is God’s will for you not to have one? Will you love Him still?” It took months for me to contemplate on this question, and finally surrendered. I told God…”Yes Lord, thy will be done.” I started thinking about the future with me and Neo enjoying the life God has for us without children. I was assured that it will still be the best if it is His will.
December 1, 2011 came and I noticed that I didn’t have my period for the month of November. Again, I was excited and scared anticipating that I might be or might not be pregnant. One weekday, I decided to do my usual brisk-walking of almost a mile, and this time was heading to a drugstore. I didn’t know but I just had a strong feeling I had to buy a pregnancy test kit this time. It’s my first time to buy one actually after waiting for more than a year. And yes,…the answer is a positive result in the test! I was speechless, and wanted to scream! The first thing I did was to call my OB clinic which is a block away from our place, and requested for a test right away. In a few more minutes…God’s confirmation was given. I am 4 weeks preggy!!!
The first thing I did when I got home was crying out loud. Yes, literally COL! I was telling God how He keeps on surprising His children with his gifts. Some of it are unexpected ones, but truly it would all fall down to one word…FAITH. Faith that He knows what’s best for us, and we may think at times that we are in a worst situation, but if it is God’s will for us, it is always the best. He is even more faithful to us like any parents than we in Him. As always, he knows the desires of our heart, and very soon I’ll be opening His beautifully-wrapped gift for me and Neo. This puts a smile on my face while patiently waiting for that special day 🙂
“Delight yourself into the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”- Psalm 37:4