to daddy

Papsy

I will always remember the things I learned from you. Things you never know you’re teaching us but you do. Thank you for all your hard work, as I learned perseverance and dedication to work from you. Your calmness is one of the things I admire in you, and also your way of saying that things are just fine, and not to take it too seriously. Most of all, the love you’ve shown your grandchildren, (as Psalm is a proof ) draws them to you. We love you Papsy. It may not be always expressed by us, but you know we’re always here. We appreciate the time and advise you give us, especially when needed and the effort you give for the family. Let’s enjoy your day 🙂

 

happy father’s day dada!

 

HoneyLike being a new mom, I know how it feels adjusting to a new role as a dad to Psalm. It makes you happy I know,  though its not easy. You don’t know it but I sneak a peek whenever its my time to work in the morning and hear you and Psalm play around. I admire your energy and enthusiasm whenever you start a game with her, things I really lack or probably don’t have. You know that I will just read with her or watch a video with her, but cannot run with her most of the time. That’s the lazy mommy in me 🙂

I also want to congratulate you for being in the world of  “work-at-home-parents,” and it makes me relieved every time I think of it as something you really considered and embraced. That is aside from our very own “no-yaya-policy” not because we are trying to be superheroes, but simply because we can’t find one and we think we don’t need one yet.  It’s also a good period for us to enjoy our being family. I praise God now that I think we are adjusting well to these new roles we have.

You’re doing very well. I assure you. I want to say sorry for my moods and for the times when it seems I don’t appreciate what you do for us. Believe me, I do. At times  its  just my wrong way of reminding you that I need your attention as my husband. I guess its one of my childish ways.

Now I understand the impact of a father to a child. Psalm is  attentive whenever you teach her new things. She easily remembers what you say, and seems always amazed by you. She believes what you say.  She wants you to embrace her until she gets sleep whenever she gets scared at night .

Happy Father’s Day Dada. You are doing great as a dad, and I will say that for our daughter for now. I’m sure she will say that when she grows up. Please don’t forget she’s just turning 2 and still cannot understand a lot of things. Pls. don’t be in a rush to discipline her though most of the time you’re the one teaching her how to be “naughty”, (haha!)

Remember that you will always be a Honey to me. I just need to call you Dada, cause Psalm has been calling you “honey” lately. 🙂 I will always be your partner in this journey we have. Let’s enjoy your day.

 

a tale of a work-at-home mom

Yes, I’m a work-at-home mom. I wake up anytime I want to, or anytime my baby wants to and our day starts that way. I have my breakfast without being in a rush and  while watching TV sometimes. I get to do my chores early in the morning, and play with my daughter in between. I work part-time for now so my work starts in the afternoon or I start doing things for work while my baby is taking her naps. I’m working  in my most comfortable clothes, and even when I don’t  comb my her during the day. It has its perks especially when you are in a place where having a nanny is expensive, while sending my baby to a Day Care is not a personal choice.

I’m thankful for this option given to me being a new mom as I get to spend my day with my baby, and earn at the same time. This for me is another blessing and part of God’s plans. I remember when I was so stressed out with my last 9-to-5 job and my husband challenged me to be faithful when asking God to give me an opportunity to work from home. It is actually an answered prayer that I didn’t know would be part of another answered prayer. Little did I know that God was planning to give us a baby at that time ’cause I got pregnant a month after working remotely, and had a difficult pregnancy during my first trimester.

Still, like any situation, working at home has its challenges. One is doing 2 roles at the same time. I’m a mom, and I’m also an employee. My “virtual boss” has high expectations of me in accomplishing our goals, while I have to attend to my baby’s needs even while working. As simple as being cuddled is a child’s need and giving enough attention to my daughter is so important to me. You don’t have co-workers, and this also something that you miss in your “social life.” But hey, with the social media generation, friends are a becoming a lot virtual too! 🙂 So this is not really an issue for someone like me.  Most of all, spending a lot of time with my baby is another reason to be happy working at home. We have a lot of quality time and “quantity” time which for me is equally important as the first.

I admire a lot of moms who manage to take care of their  kids while working be it at home or in a traditional set up of being in a corporate or anywhere else. I would also encourage those who are interested to be in this venture to try your best in finding opportunities for you or even consider this option. Just be careful of the scams out there. Remember that you don’t have to pay anything even as “initial” one and not necessarily be a “networking” thing. It is really an official job for a person or a company and you’re just working remotely.

So, go and check out websites such as Odesk and Elance and know your niche from different opportunities working at home. You’ll be surprised to see a lot of companies now hiring in this type of set up. If you think of it you can work anywhere in the world which makes me happy as well. There are  a lot more  places I would want to see and I won’t be threatened of losing my job in doing so. God is so good. 🙂

I’m not closing my doors too. Who knows? Maybe I’ll go back to corporate still, maybe not. Let’s see.

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An open letter shared on my daughter’s dedication…

dear psalm

Dear Psalm,

We almost thought we won’t have you. We have decided to surrender to the Lord, and made ourselves ready of getting old together without having you.  Don’t get us wrong. We prayed hard for you. I as your mom cried out to God asking Him why He can’t answer my prayer of having a child while He can give it to the rest. You’re Dad and I were talking about adoption already as an option, not that serious though as it’s a different story.

Today is December 1st and a year ago, this is the same day when we’ve found out we are having you.  It is the day when one of our most important prayers was answered.  God is so good that He allowed us to be your parents, and finally my dream of naming my daughter “Psalm” happened.

We love your name. Not only because it’s from the bible, but also because it means “song.” It was David’s expression of His love to the Father, whether his joyful, having sorrow or at peace. Book of Psalms is an expression of love, while Elise means “dedicated to God.”

You’re turning 4 months in few more days. You’re growing so fast, and now doing a lot of new things in that short period of time. One of the things that your Dad, Momsie and I are so thankful for is you being a “happy baby.” The first thing that you do waking up in the morning is to SMILE even before crying for milk. You smile to almost everybody, and that makes you unique as well. Young Mi said she has never seen a baby who smiles as often as you do, while when I told Pastor Jason that you’re a happy baby, what he said was…”it goes by her name.” Another thing that makes me so happy is hearing you giggle, and when you sing with me when I put you to sleep.  Maybe you will be a worship song leader someday. We’ll see.

We praise God for you. You are His expression of His love for us. An answer to a prayer.  A testimony of our faith.  One of our most favorite bible verses is Psalm 37:4. It says to “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give the desires of your heart.” Our experience of having you makes this verse more powerful in our lives.

We want be the best parents for you that God wants us to be. We have just started learning to be one, so please bear with us. You’re Dad and I were so used to just having each other for some time, and we’re still in a period of adjustment. I tell you it’s not easy, but it makes us happy.

Every parent has big dreams for their child. We would say for sure we have huge one’s for you, but for now we just want to enjoy having you. We’re so excited seeing you crawl, talk and walk soon. Our greatest desire is for you to have a relationship with the Lord when you surrender your life to Him. We want Him to be your first love.

We want to thank Pastor Jason for leading your dedication, Momsie,  and your Godparents and our friends who are here today.  Truly they all love you for being with us in this special event. Time will come when we will tell you more about this day. For now, let’s enjoy and celebrate.

Love,

Dad & Mom

Dedication

sanctuary

It’s not a place, nor a sacred building for me.  It is where I go when life is offering changes, pressure, sadness, joy and bliss. Yes, I’m a human being with emotions and vulnerable to whatever feeling one can  have. I have learned though and still learning that I can live beyond my feelings. That life is not all about emotions and what you feel. That you can control your emotions, and it goes with you when make decisions. Not the other way around. Mariah Carey insisted that “You’ve got to feel emotions!” but it’s not all that there is.

It is when I pause and miss my Father. It is when I want to soak in His presence in different ways I can imagine. I even made an email address as “timeswithjesus@gmail.com” and writes to it once in awhile especially when confusion in making decisions takes place.  To count it all, I only have 4 emails to date to that email address in 1 year, and when I look back to each email I made, I am amazed by how answers and revelations were given to me afterwards.  I’m not even aware yet that I already had Psalm when I was doing my first letter, and was asking for a revelation when a week after I’ve found out that He answered one of my prayers.  Truly Jesus is reading my letters! He has time to do that for me who is unworthy of that attention and yet He shows me that I am 🙂

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about some kind of a “chain letter” or any superstitious thing that you have to do for you to have answers to your prayers. I’m simply talking about one of the ways I spend time with the Lord in this busy life when I want to pour out what’s in my heart to Him. It is a time when I know that I can tell Him everything and just be myself in sharing my thoughts and what I feel.  A time when I lay down everything in His throne, and cry or laugh out loud too 🙂

It is my Sanctuary. Something that’s mine. It is for free. An unlimited access to my Father, Brother and Friend.

180-degree-turn

I almost thought that I’d be pregnant forever when finally the day for me to give birth came. An answered prayer that an obvious sign for me to head to the hospital was given when I had a blood-show, and it was at 2 in the morning. Imagine how sleepy my support team were (mom and Neo) when I told them its time for us to go to the hospital(LOL!) I started to have labor pains as soon as I started to be under observation, but I wasn’t sure still if I was having contractions as the pains were tolerable. The nurse even asked me when she checked the monitor, “Are you feeling these contractions?” which I wasn’t feeling that strong, and answered “no.” Didn’t know how challenging the next hours would be as I was in labor for the next 10 hours. In those hours, pains were getting stronger, but my cervix was not opening as expected. As a first-timer, I had an induced labor (on top of my body’s own labor process), an epidural (to ease the pain when you go through a normal delivery), and finally, had an anesthesia (as the doctor decided to recommend a C-Section delivery for me) to finally give birth.

God is so good that He has perfect timing for everything. My doctor was so cool about everything, and when he decided to suggest a CS delivery, it was right on time as my baby’s neck was trapped in my umbilical cord. She already pooped too, and praise God she didn’t eat any of it which could be more dangerous.

Going through all those procedure is something I won’t forget most probably because of the pains that I had to go through. I should say I had a 3-in-1 experience with my first born 😀 But beyond the pains,  it is an experience that a new mother like me will always remember.  I was not really expecting to have a C-Section delivery, and it was a different feeling when you know that you are going through a major operation. Neo was with me inside the OR, who’s obviously excited, and comforting at the same time. This made me relaxed plus  the fact that  the operation was quick and done in 15-20 minutes. My heart leaped with excitement the first time I heard our baby cried,  as the time to meet her finally came. It is true indeed, that you would have tears of joy as soon as you see or hear your baby.

I should say that everything was part of my experience as a first time mom. Since then everything happened naturally, though not all were easy, and there’s something new to learn every day. I was thinking that I’m almost ready for this new stage reading topics like labor, giving birth, postpartum experiences and expectations while waiting to give birth. But like most of the things in life, there are things that can be learned only through experience.

Giving the details of my experiences with baby Psalm in our first 5-weeks together is another story…another blog entry most probably. There’d be more stories to share too as me and her dad have just started this life-changing journey.  And yes..it is a 180-degree-turn of  life as everything will never be the same since Psalm came into our lives. As her name says, she is a “song” that we’d always love to hear..and a new song that we’re learning. Another reason to be grateful everyday.

when love rains, it pours!

I’ve never been so happy in my life experiencing being pregnant and surrounded by people you truly love, and truly loves you back. I’m thankful enough having my mom with me in this last phase of my pregnancy, and it makes me feel that the rest of my family is with me. Extra thankful too for Neo’s love and support in this life-changing stage of becoming a mom.

Two weeks ago a baby shower was organized for me, and all I can say is it’s so fun! Family friends are there, and most of my loving friends showed their support by organizing it through games which made everyone happy. “Pinoy Henyo” game was so fun and it became more fun since most of the participants of the game are not really familiar with it (Lol!). It’s also a baby shower where there are kids who participated in the games which was so cool!

Thankful too for my BFF Jen and her husband Gilbert for coming all the way from their place which is 8 hours away back and forth, coming that day to visit me, attend my shower and drive back home.

Love was really expressed that day. It didn’t even end there when other friends who were not able to make it was so eager to see and visit me at home giving their gifts for my baby. I was thinking that they can always see me after giving birth, but they really wanted to show their love for me, which they did and I truly appreciate it. I know how busy they are and they still found time to drop by.

I am so sure that the rest of the family and old friends are also eager to show their love and excitement for me and for my baby who is coming so soon. I miss them too and I cannot be thankful enough for the love that was shown and expressed to me making me more excited to see our bundle of joy. My boss is so loving too expressing her support in my maternity leave, excited for my giving birth and really wants me to come back to work whenever I’m ready.

Oh God, I can’t thank You enough for inventing the word LOVE. It came from You, expressed by You, through us, and also given back to us. I’ll forever praise you for this, and will always be reminded of finding ways of showing how much you love me, by loving people….and of course, loving even those who are not so easy to love. This is one of the many things that Jesus taught us through His life on earth, and will continue to teach us until we learn the real meaning of love.

a beautifully- wrapped gift.

Few more weeks to go, and I’ll be seeing one of the best gifts I’ve ever received. I remember when I was impatiently waiting for this, asking God and praying hard for Him to answer my questions. I was so eager and had to follow a “What to Expect BEFORE Expecting” book’s instructions, which says that the first thing that should be done is to visit an OB-GYN. The doctor “confidently” told me that there’s fertility problem with me and Neo for sure trying for more than a year having a baby. He suggested that Neo should check first if he has problems and that’s the end of the story. Surprisingly, my husband was open to it, and I was the one who was scared to know if we would have the chance to have a baby or not.

I delayed our check-up schedule, dealing with the Lord first, asking Him if this is His will for us. There were times when I cried out loud asking Him why He can’t give it to me while He can give it to the rest? Why my friends have kids, and me, who’s been faithful and patient in waiting can’t have one? It was a wake-up call, when our dear friend Greg asked me this question during a bible study: “What if it is God’s will for you not to have one? Will you love Him still?” It took months for me to contemplate on this question, and finally surrendered. I told God…”Yes Lord, thy will be done.” I started thinking about the future with me and Neo enjoying the life God has for us without children. I was assured that it will still be the best if it is His will.

December 1, 2011 came and I noticed that I didn’t have my period for the month of November. Again, I was excited and scared anticipating that I might be or might not be pregnant. One weekday, I decided to do my usual brisk-walking of almost a mile, and this time was heading to a drugstore. I didn’t know but I just had a strong feeling I had to buy a pregnancy test kit this time. It’s my first time to buy one actually after waiting for more than a year. And yes,…the answer is a positive result in the test! I was speechless, and wanted to scream! The first thing I did was to call my OB clinic which is a block away from our place, and requested for a test right away. In a few more minutes…God’s confirmation was given. I am 4 weeks preggy!!!

The first thing I did when I got home was crying out loud. Yes, literally COL! I was telling God how He keeps on surprising His children with his gifts. Some of it are unexpected ones, but truly it would all fall down to one word…FAITH.  Faith that He knows what’s  best for us, and we may think at times that we are in a worst situation, but if it is God’s will for us, it is always the best. He is even more faithful to us like any parents than we in Him. As always, he knows the desires of our heart, and very soon I’ll be opening His beautifully-wrapped gift for me and Neo. This puts a smile on my face while patiently waiting for that special day 🙂

“Delight yourself into the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”- Psalm 37:4

it’s not about me.

Yes, this blog site is not all about me. I’m so excited that finally I have started a blog of my own which I should have done way back. I remember how I used to write my thoughts daily about anything and saving it in an MS Word file talking about living and loving. That was a time when the word “blogging” was not yet invented. I realized that I was doing this a lot before, as I’ve always been a frustrated writer. I told myself that it’s a second profession I would love to be in, and thank God you can always be one as long as it’s in your heart to do so.

Expressing my thoughts is not the only purpose of having GLIMPSE. Like what it says, it’s “a LOVE story of HIS glory.” This is the best way for me to share my love story with my beloved who paid a price for me through the CROSS.  I’ve been in love with Him, and it’s about time to share who He is in my life. I know I’m not a talker, but since I’m a writer, I can share my relationship with Jesus through this blog.

Let me tell you some things about me.  I’m a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a Lord’s worshiper, and as God’s gift to me, I’ll be a mom very soon 🙂 My baby who’s in my tummy is also my inspiration in starting this blog ’cause I want her to read my thoughts and experiences with our Father someday.

I’m more of an introvert, and a listener, than a talker. I love making people laugh, which is somewhat contradicting to my being an introvert. I’m still learning on how to be a loving wife to my husband Neo, and I know it’s never ending plus I’ll be learning soon on how to be a loving mom. I sing for Him, and this is the first ministry He entrusted me in making Him known.

I love eating and trying out new restaurants. I would rather be on a date with Neo, with a family, or a friend dining-out, than shopping. Yes, that’s true! I’m kinda moody in buying things, and I’m impatient shopping long hours, which is not a typical of a girl. My family is so important to me, and getting in touched with them is part of my top priorities. I’m in love with my nephews, and seeing their pictures makes my day.

I value my friendship with my long time friends, and sisters in faith. It’s really an effort especially if you’re miles away from them. I’ve lost some too for some  unknown reasons, but God has led me to meet new ones too whom I value my relationship with so much even if I’ve just known them few years ago.

I’m a Recruiter and will always be one. It’s my first ever job after school, and the Lord has His ways of putting me back in this field. I’ve always thought that it’s really my purpose to be in this field helping people finding their jobs. See? God is concerned in every aspect of our lives, that even this became a stressful job for me for some time,  He made me understand that He wants to use me through this profession.

So, this is not about me (haha!), but I’m just letting you know who I am and who my Father is in my life.

Enjoy reading, and more to come!

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